The Pain
by acidbleach
Summary: Artemis is falling apart day by day, and he can't do anything to stop it. There's something in the Fowl Manor ruining him. And, in the end, everything will fall apart.


Author's Note: I do not own any of these characters, but if you wish to include the mysterious girl, go ahead.  
  
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Fowl Manor, Artemis the First's study  
  
Artemis Fowl brushed back a few long, stray black hairs from his eyes. He looked up from his laptop, and at the fire, then back at the laptop. He placed his hands on the Home Row, the blood feeling as though it was pulsating in his fingertips. He knew he had to write something, to let it all out.  
The rain hit the windowpanes of his father's study like tiny rocks. The lightning didn't sound so tiny. Every ten seconds or so it would rattle the windows and cause the fire to quiver slightly.  
Artemis's mind started to wander as he thought about what to tell the laptop. Nothing came to mind. Then, it hit him like the lightning does the trees.  
That girl. That fucking girl that was always there. Always sitting in the chair by his bed, watching him sleep. She was always walking around the majestic halls in her dark dress, the dark dress that looked as though she had risen from an ocean of darkness, a few reluctant shadows clinging to her dress. Her hair trailed down to the middle of her back, tied into a half ponytail with a dark purple ribbon.  
And her smile. That smile was enough to make him want to cause a self- inflicted crime. Her face showed sweet apathy, but when they made eye contact, she would smile and raise a finger and beckon him to follow. It was like a magnet, but he managed to resist. Barely.  
Artemis sighed and stood up, setting the laptop down on the chair, leaving it on. He walked to the window and stared out at the rain. He placed his hands on the cold glass. After a while, they burned with the cold. He pulled his hands away slowly and placed them on his face. The cold struck him like needles.  
He was growing weak. His senses became sensitive and vulnerable.  
And he blamed her for it.  
Artemis stepped away. He walked out of the study and down the hall. He saw the great, full-view mirror up ahead. The dreary grey-green landscape was laid out before him.  
Artemis walked down to the first floor without know it. He looked into the library and saw his mother sitting in a chair, reading a rather large book. Juliet was in there, standing on a ladder, dusting the higher shelves.  
His mother looked up just as he was walking out of the doorway. She smiled at him. "Arty. Come here."  
Artemis walked in and went to his mother. She looked up at him and smiled. His mother was absolutely lovely. Her red hair was behind her shoulders, a few defiant strands trying to climb over. Her green eyes sparkled with the intensity of an emerald. A small amount of freckles were scattered across her nose like pepper.  
"Yes, mother?"  
Angeline smiled again. "I just wanted to see how my Arty was."  
Artemis nodded and left the library. He closed the double door that was open and went into the kitchen. He sat at the dining table and stared at the centerpiece on the table. The flowers were dying. A few petals were lying on the table already. That's how he felt. He felt as though his whole being was dying, like his soul was falling apart little by little, day by day. Yet again, he blamed it on her.  
Artemis stood up and walked to the cupboard to get a glass. He set it down and opened the refrigerator and got out a pitcher of fresh water and poured it into the glass. He placed it back on a shelf inside the refrigerator and closed it. He drank some of it, relishing it. When he was done, he set it in the sink. Artemis walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. He was becoming tired. He passed the library silently. He dragged his feet up the stairs. He felt like he was climbing a mountain. His mind was twisting in circles. He was going insane.  
The original colors faded into its opposite colors, the stairs and pictures twisting and stretching with distortion. His hearing suddenly intensified. He could hear something coming from the direction of the library, a bass rhythm that pulsed. He could hear his lungs folding as he breathed in, the sound of rustling paper. His vision swerved, going in and out of focus. Artemis Fowl no longer had control of his senses. He had lost control in it all.  
After what seemed like hours he made it to his bedroom door. He placed a red-blue hand on a doorknob and twisted it weakly. His skin seemed to stick to it like glue. He felt like he was melting into a puddle.  
He got it open and staggered into his room. He made it to his bed and climbed under the covers. He pulled them over his head to stop the convulsions he was having.  
Artemis closed his eyes the best he could and laid there for a while. Then he heard the door creaking open. It has to be my mother, his mind shouted over the roaring in his head. Unless it's her.  
"Mother?" He called out in a hoarse voice.  
No answer.  
Artemis stared into the ceiling and suddenly felt a hand on his forehead. It stayed there for several moments and then he felt nails digging into his head, running into his hairline.  
Then it stopped. The hand was drawn away. Artemis looked up and saw her. His heart skipped two beats. He didn't know what to do. His body was numb and he felt like his insides were melting.  
He felt like he was being killed, killed slowly and painfully.  
Artemis's hands clenched the covers. He felt his nails digging back in the ball of his palm. If he wasn't as numb as he was, he might have felt the blood escape and trickle down his palm.  
She stood there and stared down at him. Then she smiled. She smiled down at him. Artemis's senses did the unwordable, each one screeching and twisting. He closed his eyes and saw a big red flower filling up his vision. His eyes snapped open and he saw a green imprint on his vision from where it was.  
Artemis twisted and turned, screaming on what he thought the inside was. She sat in her chair, watching him with a lovely form of apathy. He lay in his bed, twisting violently in his expensive sheets. Sweat soaked his body, his clothes ruined forever from it.  
Very faintly, he heard his mother's voice calling his name. He couldn't summon his voice to answer her. His throat was closing up. He could hardly breathe. His mother's hand was on his head, touching the sides of his face and brushing hair from his face.  
The lights flashed on and his skin seemed to burn. He pulled away from his mother, shaking with heat. He saw three more figures standing around his bed. He knew who they were but his mind wouldn't transmit it.  
Artemis saw another figure. Her. It was unmistakable. She was the shadow herself. She was among them, watching his suffering. They didn't see her standing there. He found his voice well enough to warn them. His throat was tight and his voice was jagged. "She's...there. Look..."  
Angeline looked directly at her. The girl smiled again, and Artemis shrieked in the pain, his back arching up. Artemis covered his eyes, digging his nails into his hair, ripping it out. He felt a strong hand grasp his wrist, moving his hand away from his now bleeding head. Angeline turned back to him, her voice barely over a whisper to him. "Who? There's no one there, Artemis."  
For the first time ever, he heard the girl laugh. His head felt like six-inch nails were being driven into his skull, his brain felt like he had shot it out with a gun. His eyes rolled back into eyes, and he screamed.  
His vision went back into focus for a couple of seconds, and he saw that his father, Artemis the First, was standing at the end, by the girl. Butler was on his right, holding his wrist, and Juliet was by his mother, on the right.  
His eyes moved around, bloodshot and frightened. He heard very faint and distant conversations being passed between his mother and father. Blood drained down his throat. He swallowed it, and felt a burn in his stomach.  
Artemis forgot everything for a second or two. He forgot his identity, his family, everything. It all flooded back suddenly, too much at once. He became hot and cold, his system couldn't choose.  
Then, all went dark. Everything.  
  
Mental Institution of Dublin, Ireland  
  
Artemis sat on the edge of his bed, his brain refusing to think. He urged it, begged it, and threatened it.  
"If you don't do what I command, brain," Artemis stated out loud. "I'll find something to blow you out of my fucking skull."  
Artemis sat there for several minutes and waited. He frowned and stood up. He walked to the drawer and opened it. He shuffled through some stuff and found a gun he smuggled from the security room. He looked down at it. "You have exactly ten seconds to work."  
Artemis counted on his fingers. When he reached seven, he heard the closet door rattle. He lowered it, intrigued. "Who is it? If it's you, girl, go now."  
There was no answer.  
Artemis took the gun from his head and examined it. He sang in a singsong voice, "I'm fucking crazy, fucking crazy's what I am." He stood up and walked to the door, singing the song.  
Artemis placed his free hand on the knob and walked down the hall. His family was on his way to see him, and they were probably in the waiting room. He smirked. He put the gun in the side of his pants. He walked into the main room where most of the patients were.  
Artemis went and sat down on a couch and looked around. He felt the gun on his hip and smiled. All he had to do was wait for his family. Any minute now.  
A few moments later, he saw Juliet come around the corner, followed by his mother and father, and Butler. This was his moment. Artemis stood up and smiled.  
Angeline Fowl started walking to her son. As she walked, Artemis pulled the gun out and put it on his temple. The cold bit his face. The senses were weakening, just like last time. He had to do it.  
"Good bye mother, father, Juliet, Butler. I shall miss you."  
Artemis closed his eyes, and for all to see, he pulled the trigger.  
It was unlike anything before. Artemis didn't have enough time to compare this pain to that of others he had experienced. It shot through his skin, and into his skull. It blew up his brains and he fell down. The bullet went into the wall across from him. It also brought along little red globs.  
Angeline Fowl screamed a wounded scream.  
The last thing Artemis Fowl the Second ever saw in his life was the girl standing behind his mother, laughing.  
  
Excerpt from Foaly's Guide to Magic & Technology; page 143, Chapter 8, "Limited Technology (experienced LEP's only)."  
  
4. Mind Wipes I consider mind wipes to be incredibly dangerous at times. Especially on the wrong people. We made that mistake by mind wiping Artemis Fowl the Second and Co. It resulted in death, which has never happened.  
When we heard that Artemis Fowl had committed suicide in a mental institution (of all places), we sent LEP Commander Holly Short to investigate and question Butler. He responded that "Artemis never acted like that after the mind wipe." Interesting.  
The LEP did a little bit of research, and we discovered that the mind wipe must have messed around with the chemical balance in his body, sending him directly into a depression.  
Even worse, he was always "tripping", as the modern world calls it. His vision and senses were ruined shortly after the mind wipe, and became what the psychiatrists of the upper world call "schizophrenia". After hacking into Fowl's laptop computer and reading entries in his locked journal, we discovered he had been seeing a female dressed in a black dress that "flowed like an ocean" and had hair "as black as the bottom of an abyss." And, therefore, mind wipes have been banned, and the only way we fairies can communicate with Mud Men is with strictly guarded and one hundred percent trustworthy Mud Men.  
I, personally, don't like Mud Men, but losing one like Artemis Fowl (who, despite his crimes and ransom demands, was incredible) is horrible. He didn't deserve something like that.  
  
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Angsty, yes. Suicidal, of course. Please read and review. Thanks.  
  
x...stormy...x 


End file.
